Belonging · Confidence · Determination · My Story · Outlook · Poetry · Understanding

Totalitarian Ruler

It has been a process in a world with no escape plan
A world where your skin color determines where you stand
I wonder late at night if this is the real world God put me in
He tells me through the scriptures He will never leave me behind
Then I come to think it is not really the world maybe it is me
Maybe I haven’t learned to overcome adversity being thrown at me
I think it’s time for me to be real and tell you what going on
I get yelled at by a man in my house; not for reasonable things
For things that honestly wouldn’t mean anything
He verbally abuses me and I have to stay awake
Stay awake and remind myself that everything will be okay
No one really knows how I feel when I go home at night
I just have a small hope in my heart that he won’t be home
I’ve learned to not have sympathy for him anymore
He is totally bipolar and doesn’t know it he switches too quick
He can be in my face one minute then joking the next
I’m tired of being his punching bag because now I’m weak
Weak from the crap he continues to spew to me
Tired but I’m as awake as I can possibly be
On my hands and knees to pray so that I can see
See my life run a course he wouldn’t see in me
Watch myself grow to be better than he’d ever be

Afraid · Belonging · Inspirational · Learning · My Story · Outlook · Poem · Poetry · Understanding · Visualization · Writers

Disease

It comes up behind and it takes you by surprise

The happiness you feel now hides

Don’t scream and don’t lie

Just walk down the road in disguise

“Forget, but live in the past”

Is the only thought that passes by

Not truly living is what you fear

What you don’t know is not scary

The unknown thing creeping is only daring

Just be you and don’t steer away

It only wants to consume the horrors you cave

Determination · Growing up · Learning · My Story · Poem · Poetry · Understanding

Indigenous Argument

It’s moments like these when I realize I’m sad
Even though I should be really happy with myself
It’s like I need someone else to be happy for me
Just because I feel like I can’t even try by myself
I think it’s hard to tell people where I am mentally
However it’s so easy to lie and tell them where I wish I was
I wish the world could know and take the pain for me
That is when I realize I am truly alone and I feel like a sham
I need to tell you what I really feel right now
The thoughts, they yell at me telling me to fight
I think a lot and observe not to see how you are, to see what I’m not
The world was never against me and now I really see that
Internally I fought only to see that I was fighting myself.

Belonging · Confidence · Definition · Determination · Encouraging · Growing up · Learning · My Story · Outlook · Poem · Understanding · Writers

Au Courant | Updated or New

It is like the day should be new for you
But you haven’t found a way
A new Idea to help to look up at the sky
That may help you pave the way
But all I can think of is to look down
That is the only kind of way
I can see myself as new instead of
The disgusting looks I get from you
It is hard to find a person like you
Perhaps, that looks at me the same
My friends tell me I’m beautiful
I don’t know if to cry or say thanks
I have found it hard to see
The beauty in me the same way
Trust me I wish that my life wasn’t
Perplexing compared to my young days
Now I’m turning a new age
This time I ask for intellect
Rather than mercy for you

~Cass

Photo Credit: Ericka Garcia

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

~George Bernard Shaw

Afraid · Belief · Belonging · My Story · Poem · Poetry · Understanding · Visualization · Writers

Lacerate

The incision I make small to suffice
The pain I take in is no real surprise
The tears that fall have already been expected
The rain in my soul keeps falling no exception
I bear my sins to try to keep on working
I falter here and there to show I make mistakes
I love too hard so that everyone else can smile
I try to hard to keep that smile on your face
My days are short but I am not truly happy
My love is more I have only given a piece
My poems are written to show the real me
My life will keep living so long as I’m on my feet.

~Cass

I  Love Ericka for really helping me find myself through this. These are my thoughts. Thanks for reading!

“Other times, I look at my scars and see something else: a girl who was trying to cope with something horrible that she should never have had to live through at all. My scars show pain and suffering, but they also show my will to survive. They’re part of my history that’ll always be there.”

~ Cheryl Rainfield, Scars

Confidence · Determination · Growing up · Learning · My Story · Poem · Poetry · Questioning · Understanding · Ungrateful · Visualization · Writers

You’re “SO” Funny

Hey, guys this poem is for people who like to piss you off to no avail; but you still manage to keep quiet for a long time so that you don’t come off as mean or get in trouble.

It’s hysterical to me how you think you’re funny

The things you say make you irrelevant

Making fun of people is the only thing you can do

Hahaha you’re class clown let’s see what I’ll make out of you

Pick on someone who’s on your level but I’m sure

Even they would destroy you.

Afraid · Belonging · Confidence · Definition · Determination · Encouraging · Inspirational · My Story · Outlook · Poem · Poetry · Self-Motivate · Understanding · Visualization

Horrid Memories

I feel like I am in a new place with my fears
Lifting my feet for them to be slammed down
Breaking high walls to meet standards
Not loving myself enough to reach higher ground
It’s hard to get out I’m stuck in a maze
Help me reach the end I don’t want to be caged
They’re coming to get me those awful things
Come catch me from the things I don’t want to see
Grab my body shake me till it’s gone
The memories are catching me headlights are on
I’m being taken where’d you go
I’m all alone deranged unsteady dark and far from home
A lost cause that’s how it seems
A renegade is what they made me

You’re my Superman, but it’s unclear
Now that I’m alone I have learned to face my fears
You don’t know what will make me happy
Don’t dare cross me because I will make you feel my agony

Photo Credits: Ericka Garcia