Afraid · Belonging · Inspirational · Learning · My Story · Outlook · Poem · Poetry · Understanding · Visualization · Writers

Disease

It comes up behind and it takes you by surprise

The happiness you feel now hides

Don’t scream and don’t lie

Just walk down the road in disguise

“Forget, but live in the past”

Is the only thought that passes by

Not truly living is what you fear

What you don’t know is not scary

The unknown thing creeping is only daring

Just be you and don’t steer away

It only wants to consume the horrors you cave

Determination · Growing up · Learning · My Story · Poem · Poetry · Understanding

Indigenous Argument

It’s moments like these when I realize I’m sad
Even though I should be really happy with myself
It’s like I need someone else to be happy for me
Just because I feel like I can’t even try by myself
I think it’s hard to tell people where I am mentally
However it’s so easy to lie and tell them where I wish I was
I wish the world could know and take the pain for me
That is when I realize I am truly alone and I feel like a sham
I need to tell you what I really feel right now
The thoughts, they yell at me telling me to fight
I think a lot and observe not to see how you are, to see what I’m not
The world was never against me and now I really see that
Internally I fought only to see that I was fighting myself.

Belonging · Confidence · Definition · Determination · Encouraging · Growing up · Learning · My Story · Outlook · Poem · Understanding · Writers

Au Courant | Updated or New

It is like the day should be new for you
But you haven’t found a way
A new Idea to help to look up at the sky
That may help you pave the way
But all I can think of is to look down
That is the only kind of way
I can see myself as new instead of
The disgusting looks I get from you
It is hard to find a person like you
Perhaps, that looks at me the same
My friends tell me I’m beautiful
I don’t know if to cry or say thanks
I have found it hard to see
The beauty in me the same way
Trust me I wish that my life wasn’t
Perplexing compared to my young days
Now I’m turning a new age
This time I ask for intellect
Rather than mercy for you

~Cass

Photo Credit: Ericka Garcia

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

~George Bernard Shaw

Afraid · Belonging · Bias · Growing up · Learning · Loving · Meaning · My Story · Poem · Poetry · Visualization · Writers

Broken People

I will not stand for your piteous ways
The nation looks at me like I’m crippled today
I will not stand for the ignorance in our nation
I’m tired of being disappointed in our human race
I will not stand problematic lives
If you have too many of those
Your heart will have strife
I’m not a puzzle piece in this game
I want to be a human today
But I won’t follow societies ways
I’ll break their rules and do it my way
My best friend and I will run
She’ll help me be what I want
She’ll do what she wishes is honest
And fly higher than our broken souls
We’ll make it back and be whole

~Cass

Thank you everyone who reads this blog you are my family. Also, thank you Hannah for letting me use this picture.

Afraid · Coming of Age · Confidence · Definition · Determination · Learning · Life · Meaning · My Story · Outlook · Poem · Poetry · Quote

Set In

In bed, I stayed all day
Depression kept me there
A dubious mind ran away
Depression told it to
Crying all day with all reason
Depression made it happen
It’s, not a phase anymore
Depression finally set in.

~Cass

I’m not sure whether I’ve been happy. After my last book tour, I sat on my balcony with a cup of tea. I thought: ‘You can’t rewind the movie. I’ve spent more than half my life in the Middle East. There have been great moments of horror and depression and loneliness.’

~Robert Fisk

Afraid · Belief · Belonging · My Story · Poem · Poetry · Understanding · Visualization · Writers

Lacerate

The incision I make small to suffice
The pain I take in is no real surprise
The tears that fall have already been expected
The rain in my soul keeps falling no exception
I bear my sins to try to keep on working
I falter here and there to show I make mistakes
I love too hard so that everyone else can smile
I try to hard to keep that smile on your face
My days are short but I am not truly happy
My love is more I have only given a piece
My poems are written to show the real me
My life will keep living so long as I’m on my feet.

~Cass

I  Love Ericka for really helping me find myself through this. These are my thoughts. Thanks for reading!

“Other times, I look at my scars and see something else: a girl who was trying to cope with something horrible that she should never have had to live through at all. My scars show pain and suffering, but they also show my will to survive. They’re part of my history that’ll always be there.”

~ Cheryl Rainfield, Scars

Belief · Belonging · Definition · Learning · My Story · Outlook · Poem · Poetry · Quote · Visualization

Double Meaning

She lived at bay for years at end

No one to hold no friend of men

All around just a swift breeze

How sad it is for her to be at ease

Oh no one knows her sorrows

A ship in harbor wallows

A bitter fear that follows

Oh why oh why is she hollow

No one can see her they don’t trust her

They say she’s unsafe but haven’t sailed her

Why can’t we all just stop and be polite

Holding on to the past is all she has

No one to pick her up

Everyone has torn her down

Old and battered never went to sea

Checking out time is up

Her sail has lowered only now to be lifted up

He just walked past and climbed on

Never had a friend and now she sees

Not all are bad but, good is rare as can be

She’s finally being used for what she was made for

No more flaws she sees a new ship in the mirror

A new woman is what she is

A new friend is what she has

A new meaning to life her dream

 

To a port, she parked on for years

She isn’t taken for granted

She isn’t being abused

Now they see her but before not being used

Being used for her purpose now they see the good in her

A ship at harbor was not her purpose nor her full potential

Being at sea was her new home

Soon she would be beautiful again

No, not again that ruined her the first time

She wants to stay in the city that’s her home

Unknown seas she sails through

No friend of man was how she went through

How sad is that till he came by

She was ready to give up and say goodbye

Not her true meaning but what they made her

How she came about and overcame failure

Now as they say a ship in harbor may be safe

Not the true meaning nor what it’s built for

But how she sees herself now is more.

~Cass

Hey, guys, hopefully, everyone has been doing well. Again thank you, Ericka, for your amazing pictures. Also, thanks, to all of the amazing people that find time to read my blog.

“A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for.” — John A. Shedd.